Lighter being is the best way I can describe how I’ve changed since high school. I recently attended my 40th high school reunion. I blogged about being the reunion chair here.
What is cool about milestones, like reunions, is getting the perspective of how far I’ve come from what my life used to be like. I experienced the reunion as much from a feeling perspective as a mental perspective. This is from all my work on mind-body connection and clarity. Talking was unimportant, I was present and feeling the delight in reconnecting with old friends. In this group I shared much of my growing up with, I also got to know some classmates better.
I noticed that some people at the reunion felt heavy, clunky, serious, I was okay with that. I noticed I could feel it and recognized I used to be much more like that. Heavy, clogged, tight, worried, dark, fearful feelings are so familiar. Externally I might not look wildly successful. Internally I’ve moved light years from how I used to show up in my body and how crappy I used to feel most of the time. I’ve done so much inner work resulting in feeling so light now. One of the reunion committee members remarked in an email after the event “I forgot to tell you how great you look! Whatever you are doing, keep it up!”
The Old Me
Someone brought a group photo to the reunion taken of our high school class in 1977. I found myself in the photo pictured at left. This is an example of the old me. My facial expression says it all. This is how I spent much of my life, in a bad mood, brooding, unhappy, heavy, ruminating, unable to focus on the well-being of the present moment.
The New Me
The new me still struggles with negative thoughts and worry about the future. But I don’t get caught up in them like I used to. I do way less worrying and ruminating. I catch myself when I’m lost in imagining a dire future and come back to present more quickly where all is well, I’m safe, and where true joy and happiness are experienced. Pleasure, feel good, happiness, excitement, contentment, calm are all sensations in the body that are present moment experiences. Being present in the now connected with how my body feels makes for a much more enjoyable, lighter experience of being. The more I allow myself to feel light, okay, safe, content, the better my body feels.